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Thoughts on new motherhood.

by Christa on January 10, 2014

in Baby Gins,Daily Digest

First of all, I take back what I said about Rachel not being a fussy baby. I don’t know what possessed me to say that. She cries all the time, even if I’m holding her, but especially if I’m not. I can’t put her down during the day. We just got a baby swing from friends and it is helping a lot – as in, I can finally do the dishes. The screaming is terrible. I told Shane it makes me want to kill myself just to get some peace and quiet, and I’m only half joking. From what I can tell from talking with other new mom friends, that’s normal. Yay!

That being said, being a mom is awesome. She smiled at me for the first time, a huge real smile, and I got so excited and squealed so loudly that I’m pretty sure I scared her. Sorry!

More good news – I had my 6 week appointment at my doctor’s and everything is back in place and she cleared me to work out.  I asked specifically if I could work out “as hard as I want,” and she said YES!  IMTX, I’m coming for you!

I’m also gearing up to go back to work, and I have mixed feelings about it. On the one hand, I don’t think I want to stay at home; I love my job. On the other hand, I don’t want anyone else staying at home with her either, so that’s quite the conundrum. We have hired a nanny and she seems very happy to be looking after Rachel. She is coming over next week and later this month I will go part-time for 2 weeks and then will be full-time in mid-February.

Having grown up with a working mom, I know two things. 1) You can be an amazing mother without staying at home. 2) The relationship between child and caregiver can be truly special. Our “Net-Net” was an adopted grandmother to us, and we loved her dearly. While I am sure my mom would have given anything to stay at home with us, I don’t think she regrets our relationship with Net-Net at all. I hope that Rachel will have a long-term loving relationship with her nanny as well.

As for me, right now I’m sitting with her in the Moby wrap because that’s the only way she will nap.

This, my friends.  This is the face of new motherhood.  More importantly, this is the HAIR of new motherhood.  RUN.

photo 2 (19)

We are still learning each other. I know we have a ways to go, but for now I’ll take it.

photo 1 (18)

 

Rach earlier this week, enjoying one of the pacis that Charlie has since chewed up.  Shane said he needed some soothing – I also caught him in her Rock ‘n Play; he couldn’t get out!  Sadly, I couldn’t get to my camera in time.

{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

Stacey January 10, 2014 at 8:36 am

You have no idea how much I’ve enjoyed reading about your progress from months behind you. It’s really giving me a glimpse into my future! You’re doing great, Christa. I just know I’ll be looking back at your old posts to gauge my own feelings with where you were at that time.

I’m scared of a lot of things: the end of pregnancy and feeling massively uncomfortable, BIRTH, recovery, and the early days of adjusting. But what I’m most fearing is the back to work transition. We selected a daycare, and unfortunately (fortunately?) it’s closest to Billy’s job, so he will do the drop-off and pick-up. The good news is, she’ll be home before I get home, so I will be welcomed home by daddy and baby. I have so many feelings about it. It’s what worked best for our family, but I always thought that would be job. Ahhh, oh well. The mommy guilt has already started, and she’s not even here yet!

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Christa January 10, 2014 at 10:42 am

I’m so glad you are enjoying! I always feel like I’m talking to myself, but I think it’s important to document these early days :) If for nothing else, when I think I want another one! Haha, jk.

It will all be here before you know it – NO FEAR! That’s really nice that it’s close to his work. There are not a lot of good daycares near us… and I know what you mean about mommy guilt!

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Marcie Bluestone January 10, 2014 at 8:50 am

Hi Christa,
I’ve also really enjoyed reading your posted being that I’ll be in your shoes in a few months too. How did you find a Nanny?! I am planning to do the same thing and don’t know where to begin the search for the right person. How far in advance did you find someone?! I did signed up for a class at The Motherood Center all about the process of hiring a nanny or babysitter. I know they have a service but I was wondering what other options were out there.

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Christa January 10, 2014 at 10:44 am

So excited for you! We went through care.com and sittercity.com (and found ours through sittercity) – my sister and I both nannied in college through these sites as well. You can run background checks and contact references. I did a lot of phone interviews and only 3 in-person interviews before selecting. I didn’t want to pay the placement fee through Motherhood Center or Morningside Nannies. Let me know if you need help!

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Andrea January 13, 2014 at 3:55 pm

Just found your blog – I’m a new mother too! I read your birth story which sounds scarily similar to mine in having to have an unplanned c-section. I am totally in awe that you are taking on an ironman in May – way to go! I’m excited to follow along :-)

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Christa January 17, 2014 at 8:43 am

Thanks for commenting, Andrea – so glad to meet you! I can’t wait to read your blog.

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Jess January 20, 2014 at 7:45 am

The crying will run it’s course and then it’ll be like it never happened. But it sure does suck while it’s going on!

It’s really interesting to read your take on childcare. I never had sitters or went to daycare, so my perspective is totally different, but I really like the idea of a special relationship between your or your daughter and the nanny. I never thought of it that way! And I totally understand your conundrum. I love my job, too, but I still hate leaving Jack, even if I’m only part time.

And Jack is almost 15 months old; I’m running out of excuses for still having “mom hair”.

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