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Pregnancy real talk, vol. 3

by Christa on September 26, 2013

in Baby Gins,Life Story,Pregnancy

Just putting this out there: third trimester blows hard.

After having an easy first tri and sailing through second tri, my body is now laughing at me.  I started whimpering in the car today because I am just so miserable.  Don’t get me wrong; I still want her to stay in there for a little longer (no more shenanigans!).  But I know in my bones she is coming early and man oh man, it will be glorious when she does.  My back is killing me, I have permanent cankles and swollen feet, so my shoes hurt.  I still have FAT CALVES, not sure what that’s about.  I can’t really tie my shoes anymore.  I am permanently hungry and thirsty.  I look and feel like a boat.  I am grouchy all the time, and no clothes are comfortable.

Basically my mantra right now:


I know I should be enjoying this and making the most of the time that Shane and I have left just the two of us.  But it would be a lot easier if I could get my head above water.  I’m so freaking busy.  And I don’t usually talk a lot about work on the blog, simply because a) it’s not that interesting to other people and b) I don’t think it’s the appropriate medium to discuss it.  Suffice it to say that the work keeps piling on instead of the other way around.  I just don’t know how I’m going to get all caught up before going out on maternity leave, and that just adds to the pressure.  There are certain projects I NEED to get done, and the clock is ticking.  And I hate feeling like I have to do EVERYTHING or else it won’t get done properly.  That’s the INTJ in me.


There’s very little that baby girl actually NEEDS when she decides to make her way into the world.  I’m trying to think of the stuff we absolutely have to have and I think the only things that I really need to buy are a crib mattress, breast pump, diapers (we are using disposable at first but then plan to cloth diaper), and bottles.  Obviously there are other nice-to-haves but we are getting pretty well stocked thanks to showers and generous friends and family!  But then there is tons of other stuff on our list – buy a rug for the nursery, find a pediatrician (!!!), take our newborn care class, buy a deep freezer, take an infant CPR course, figure out what to do about cord blood donation or banking.  It’s a lot and it’s wearing me down.  I just hope I can keep my shit together for a little longer.


There’s one other thing that’s been weighing heavily on me lately – PPD.  My doctor says that a history of depression does not necessarily mean I will be any more at risk for post-partum depression than anyone else, but it has me pretty anxious.  Truthfully, there are so many wonderful things about pregnancy but lately I’ve had my blue glasses on and every time I catch myself being negative or apathetic it slightly worries me.  I know it will take awhile to get into the swing of things, and that we will find our own routine and figure out what works for us.  I just can’t help but be nervous that all this change is going to send me over the edge.  I hope it’s nothing I can’t handle.



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Pregnancy real talk, vol. 4
November 6, 2013 at 9:06 am

{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Margaret September 26, 2013 at 3:14 pm

Are there any specific risk factors for PPD? I have to say that having a history of depression myself, when I think about having kids in the future, the risk of having PPD scares me almost as much as labor. In some ways I’m in a good place that I could identify my usual behaviors when I’m being affected by depression and make sure my partner is on the lookout for signs, but I’m sure the stress and sleep deprivation of having a newborn looks pretty similar on its own!


Christa September 27, 2013 at 9:22 am

To be honest, I haven’t really looked into the risk factors – so I’m not sure. That will be a great thing to check on. I agree, I am sure it looks really similar. Especially since a lot of women get the baby blues. Here is some info I found:


Ki September 26, 2013 at 4:57 pm

I’ve had depression and no issues with PPD 4 weeks in, so there’s hope! I felt a lot of similar feelings just a few weeks ago (spoiler alert, a LOT of my “must get done”s didn’t get done and we’re all still standing) so text or email or anything if you want to vent or talk. That goes for after the baby arrives, too. You’ll be good, sweets. You’re smart and strong and you got this!


Christa September 27, 2013 at 9:23 am

That’s awesome, Ki! I appreciate the kind words and support – you’re inspiring me already!!


terra September 29, 2013 at 3:18 pm

I think that you’re aware that PPD is something that might affect you is a good sign. I don’t think some women are very aware, or at they didn’t use to be, and if you don’t know of a potential problem it’s a lot harder to address it. <3


Christa October 2, 2013 at 3:12 pm

That’s true, I never looked at it that way. But yeah, at least I will be on the lookout for it!


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