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Pregnancy real talk, vol. 2.

by Christa on September 4, 2013

in Baby Gins,Life Story,Pregnancy

I have ALL THE FEELINGS right now. I mentioned that emotions are running high…and they are. I’m not necessarily going crazy, but I’m definitely a lot more on edge and generally more weepy than I usually am.

There are days I am deliriously happy. One Sunday not too long ago I was barefoot in our kitchen, making homemade biscuits in my pajamas, and I swear that I have not felt so content in a long time. It just felt perfect; it felt like I was home – which I was, but I mean in a more metaphysical sense. Sometimes I get paranoid because I think to myself, “Nobody is this happy. Not without something going wrong.” Isn’t that a horrible thing to think? That you don’t get moments of purely enjoying life without something terrible to counterbalance it? I’m working on it.

Then there are the other days. The days when I feel completely alone. Days when I wonder what the hell we got ourselves into, and if we’re up to the challenge. I hope so.

But EVERY day is spent wondering. Wondering what this child will look like, who she’ll be like. I hope she gets Shane’s dimples, logic, and ability to live in the moment. I hope she inherits my love of books and adventure. I see a fair-skinned, dark-haired, dark-eyed little Scorpio. I imagine she’ll be full of life – impulsive, compassionate, and fiercely competitive.

I hope we can give her the tools she needs to grow up in this increasingly crazy world. I hope we are enough.

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Pregnancy real talk, vol. 4
November 6, 2013 at 9:04 am

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