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FYI to Obnoxious Holier-than-thou Moms

by Christa on September 5, 2013

in Daily Digest,Just Nothing

I had a few other things I wanted to chat about today, but the more I think on this, the more infuriated it makes me.

I’m sure more than several of you have seen the “FYI to Teenage Girls” blog post that’s going around. I’m not going to link to it here, because I don’t want to give its author pageviews in case she has advertisers.

Basically, she and her family sit around looking at Facebook after dinner and block anyone they deem unworthy of her young boys’ attention. Because THAT’S normal. Forget family Jeopardy! time, let’s troll for saucy pictures of your middle/high school gal pals and block the ones we deem unacceptable.

Or, in her words:

“I know your family would not be thrilled at the thought of my teenage boys seeing you only in your towel. Did you know that once a male sees you in a state of undress, he can’t quickly un-see it? You don’t want our boys to only think of you only in this sexual way, do you?”

These male creatures that you speak of, they are so mysterious! You mean to tell me that teenage boys think about SEX?! News flash, lady. He doesn’t need to see a girl in a towel to only think of her in a sexual way. In school he probably sees her in a cheerleading outfit, gymnastics leotard, or those hoochie shorts that cover up even less than a gymnastics leotard.  And actually, his little hormone-ravaged brain can make a PARKA the equivalent of a garter belt and stockings.  And believe it or not, boys and men are capable of controlling themselves. And most importantly, THOSE THOUGHTS ARE NORMAL. They’re teenagers for God’s sake.

“And now – big bummer – we have to block your posts…in our house, there are no second chances, ladies. If you want to stay friendly with the Hall men, you’ll have to keep your clothes on, and your posts decent.”

Oh NOOOOOOOES, you’re going to BLOCK them?! Whatever will they do?

I’m sick of the slut-shaming culture. It makes me ill that this lady thinks if her sons have impure or lustful thoughts, it must be the girl’s fault. That’s a slippery slope. I guess if she gets raped, she was probably asking for it, huh?

How about you teach your sons to respect women? Trust them to make their own decisions, since you’ve obviously raised them perfectly? Oh, that one’s too hard?

Ugh, I hope my daughter never runs into a boy with a mother like this. I can see myself consoling her in her bedroom. “Sweetie, it’s not your fault. Travis’ mommy made him dump you because your knees were on display at the movie theater last weekend!”

 

A couple of links to funny but true posts on the topic:

http://getoffmyinternets.net/kim-would-like-you-ladies-to-put-on-a-bra-and-stop-letting-your-boobs-stare-at-her-sons/

http://www.itsadoglickbabyworld.com/2013/09/a-whore-is-whore-is-whore.html

 

{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

Kristin Warwick September 5, 2013 at 7:58 am

Sometimes I want to be a mom just to populate the earth with some non-crazies (side-eye at you, Modesty Mom). Also, so I can raise boys–if I have them–who won’t be assholes.

…I started to write a really long comment but decided that’s probably better for my own blog, haha. I need to revive the poor cold dead thing.

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Christa September 5, 2013 at 8:04 am

Can’t wait to read! I know what you mean, I really feel a social responsibility to procreate. Some people are truly living on another planet.

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Kelly L September 5, 2013 at 8:01 am

ugh

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Christa September 5, 2013 at 8:03 am

I know, that’s a much easier way to say it.

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Tiffany September 5, 2013 at 8:54 am

I enjoy reading your posts. As a new-ish mom of a boy and now a little girl, I see things quite differently than I did before had kids. Things that I never thought I cared to “shelter” them from seem to nag at me and I fight the urge to be a “helicopter mom.” And I know it’s only going to get more complex as my kids get older and they are exposed to a million things a day that I cannot and will not control. As a therapist who has worked in rape crisis, I’m not ok with the “slut shaming” that happens in our culture. We are all responsible for our own actions. And as a therapist who works with adolescent boys and girls, I also regularly help boys and girls cope with the drama that unfolds as a result of postings and activities on the internet. This whole parenting thing is quite complex and we all do it differently. I can definitely relate to your strong feelings coming from this mom’s post pointed at little girls (they are not responsible for little boys’ thoughts), but I believe the best about this lady’s intentions and her desire to help teach her boys look the other way when they are tempted to think of girls in disrespectful ways (not to say thinking about sex is disrespectful, but it can become problematic in our sex-obsessed culture). I really don’t think she deserves to be called a bitch. I dunno, I just regret a lot of the ways I judged moms before I was raising my own. I look at MOST other moms and just have to respect them for doing what they believe is best for their kiddos, even if its not what I would do. It helps me stay sane and show my kids how to respect others who are different from us. You’re going to be a great mom. It’s insane and it seems like I’m constantly struggling with how to put into practice the things I thought I already had figured out, but it’s truly awesome at the same time.

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Christa September 5, 2013 at 9:05 am

I think you’re right in that she had the best intentions with what she was sharing. Unfortunately, it came across in a way that reads, “The Hall family is BETTER THAN YOU and tee-hee, if you take down your duck face sexy selfies, we can all be friends again!” Since she has it in a public forum, it’s open for commentary, just like everything I post here is open for discussion, and I love when people share their opinions even if I don’t agree with them. Also, I cuss a LOT. I do think she’s self-righteous, but not necessarily a bitch; that’s mostly used for emphasis. I’ll remove to make it a little clearer.

I think the only thing problematic about our culture is that we’re consistently taught to simultaneously be awed by and disgusted by sex at a young age. Say her kids are going with their natural instincts, but sadly they won’t know the slightest thing about sex if they find themselves in compromising situations, because all they’ve seemingly been taught is that it’s BAD and to abstain from consorting with these Jezebels.

I don’t know anything about this lady as a parent. All I know is she posted something that makes my blood boil. Agree – MOST moms deserve utmost respect; it’s got to be the toughest thing ever to try to give your kids a compass in this nutso world.

Thanks for sharing, Tiffany!!

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tiffany September 5, 2013 at 11:12 am

You’re welcome! I’m grateful for your point of view. Keep postin’ sister.

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Christa September 5, 2013 at 11:21 am

I’m grateful for yours too. It always helps to hear more voices, especially those with experience. :)

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