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Pregnancy real talk.

by Christa on July 18, 2013

in Baby Gins,Just Nothing,Life Story,Pregnancy

Being pregnant is hard. And mine hasn’t even been a tough pregnancy. I thank my lucky stars when I hear my friends’ tales of puking every day – so far I ‘ve only been sick once, and I still have enough energy to run and stuff. So I really have no room to complain. Except that’s exactly what I’m about to do.

Full disclosure, I’m pretty lax when it comes to all the scare tactics that surround pregnant women. I’ve done my research and use common sense every day (despite this, WHY do I still feel guilty drinking a cup of coffee??).  I had some woman come up to me the other day and ask me if I should really be running. I responded with innocent wide eyes, “My obstetrician says it’s good for me to run. Are you an obstetrician?” Mind your own business, complete stranger. Although I must admit – running KILLS my back now.  But the only other option is NOT running and being depressed – really not ok, I can suck up a little pain.  I’m not too strict with myself as far as food and drink rules – I don’t really eat or drink anything bad for me anyway – but it’s hard when I have had a day at work that would usually warrant 3 glasses of wine – hah!  But it’s not a prison sentence. It’s just limiting in ways I haven’t been limited in before. What’s worse than not being able to do things is doing small things society tells me YOU SHOULDN’T DO THAT AT ALL and having random strangers judge me for it. So bizarre.

I thought I escaped the emotional part. I haven’t felt overly weepy or cray cray so far. But sometimes Shane will ask why I’m being weird, when to me it seems like I’m being perfectly rational and he’s the one acting like a loon. And the other night we watched The Lucky One (it was the only thing in English in Costa Rica, on HBO) and I started bawling unstoppably. To be clear, this is a terrible movie, a horrible plot, bad acting, the whole nine yards. But it was like once the tears started, they wouldn’t stop and I went from thinking, “Why the hell would this weirdo carry around a picture of a woman he doesn’t know and then stalk her and then she still loves his ass when he’s clearly a creepy stalker EVEN THOUGH he’s Zac Efron?!” to, “I’m going to be a bad mom.” Yes. That’s the way this goes. It can’t be stopped.

There are times I think to myself, “Oh God, what have we done?” – and then I try to be all rational like dude, you are 28 and Shane is almost 30. There are kids in high school having babies and surviving, you can definitely do this. But part of me wonders if I will miss what our lives were like BEFORE. So much of life is separated into BEFORE and AFTER. Before college, after college. Before I met Shane, after. Before we were married, after. Now there will be life before baby – and after. I know what after looks like. I’ve had so much experience with babies that I can picture it. But I can’t really truly LIVE it til we’re living it, yknow? I’m lucky in that I have a really good support system – family and friends I can count on and who are really understanding AND awesomely kind and funny people who remind me WHY Shane and I wanted to have kids in the first place – family’s awesome, and a few kids will complete our little family. Oh, and as smart people we sort of have a social responsibility to procreate. ;)

Another thing with the running/tri thing. People keep telling me how much my life is going to change. Well thanks. I didn’t know that. Duh. People also act like I’m crazy for having already signed up for a few races – a half marathon in February, a full in March, a half iron in April, and oh yeah – Ironman Texas (again!) in May. Yes, that’s going to be hard to do with a 7-month-old. If I can’t handle the volume, then I can’t handle it and I’ll cross that bridge when and IF the time comes. But it’s not like I’m a pro athlete or vying for any spectacular times or personal records. Skipping a long run to take care of my baby one Saturday won’t kill me and I won’t cry about it. I’ll adjust. I want to get back in shape, I want to be healthy, and I want to set a good example for my daughter about fitness and competition. Plus, I refuse to become one of those moms who defines herself by being a MOM and only a MOM. I have other interests, and it’s ok to show your kids that you have interests and that they should too. This is a part of my life now, and I’m not going to just give that up. I’m going to spend tons of quality time with the baby, she will be my numero uno – and the training is going to be my “stay sane” time. Everyone needs some ME time – that will make me a BETTER mom.

Our dogs are still assholes though. If they think I won’t buy shock collars to stop them from barking after baby gets here, they are dead wrong. I love animals, but I will love a sleeping baby even more.

Only 16 weeks left, and I have a feeling she’s coming to the party a little early. Yeah, she’s a party girl, I just know it. Wouldn’t want to miss out on anything.

No, we don’t have a name picked out yet.

This was right after we bit into the cupcakes and saw PINK!

babygirl

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Pregnancy real talk, vol. 4
November 6, 2013 at 9:03 am

{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

marci July 18, 2013 at 6:28 pm

My advice is that you will be the same type of person you were before you had a baby, as long as you want to be. Also, people say the dumbest things to pregnant people!

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Christa July 18, 2013 at 6:31 pm

Thanks Marci. That is sort of what I am hoping. Same same, but different ;)
Hahah it’s true – they do. Another woman asked if we would be getting rid of the dogs. Ummmm….no?

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Leah July 18, 2013 at 6:31 pm

Love this. I had a complete stranger come up to me when Molly was nine days old and not congratulate me, not ask me her name, but say, “you’re nursing, right?” No pretense whatsoever. I was like yes, complete stranger, I am, and that’s also obviously the answer you want to hear so whether or not it’s actually the truth is completely irrelevant. Also, I will say, if you’re planning to nurse, running with boobs is (in my experience, that is) the pits! But you have much more experience running (and running while pregnant) than me!

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Christa July 18, 2013 at 6:34 pm

WOW. Some people have a lot of chutzpah.
I’ve heard about the running + boobs dilemma – I guess it will be time to double-up on the sports bras?? People say it’s rough on your “pelvic floor” too but I’m still learning what exactly that is, haha.

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Brit Gets Fit 1 on 1 July 18, 2013 at 6:46 pm

So even though I’m not in your shoes yet…I have to tell you that everything you are going through I have heard from so many of my pregnant friends before. So you’re not crazy…totally normal :) And I think you handled the stranger perfectly. She needed to be put in her place! I watched Crystal run, work out, and swim all through her pregnancy and look…it all turned out great! I definitely would like to follow y’all’s footstep…at my pace though cause I can’t keep up with y’all lol

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Christa July 18, 2013 at 6:53 pm

Hahaha good to know it’s normal to FEEL crazy. I really think it is better for me AND the baby to stay active, and my doc confirms that.
Girl, you are gonna catch up to us in no time at the rate you’re going!

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Marie July 19, 2013 at 6:13 am

I think this is totally normal! I had a complete melt down yesterday morning, crying because I hated the maternity shirt I had on, which quickly moved into I want to drink wine and go for a long run and be normal…omg I’m going to be a terrible mom…I need a donut. Hahaha.

We’re in a weird phase right now. When I’m spazzing, my husband has me think about the fun stuff like her first day of school, or the first time we teach her how to make pancakes, and I’m instantly calm. You’re going to be a GREAT mom and tell everyone who bothers you about running to STFU :)

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Christa July 19, 2013 at 1:00 pm

Hahah yeah – everything is a crisis!
I am getting a lot of anxiety imagining her being here….I am completely in control as long as she’s in utero! Hah!

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Margaret July 19, 2013 at 12:53 pm

Raging hormones during pregnancy can make all of us a little weird – but it’s normal

Pregnancy girdle will save your back – I am so grateful my Doc made me wear one

Follow your own instincts, in regard to what you feel like doing

Use common sense in being a Mom – no one writes a script for us, be we know how to love

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Christa July 19, 2013 at 1:02 pm

Thanks, Margaret. I did buy a support belt and it has helped after I run.
Right now I’m just going with my gut, like you said! :)

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