I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what you read online and how people present themselves.
Isn’t it the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle that states observing something will inherently change the behavior of that which is being observed? Pretty sure.
Man, if that were a Jeopardy! question I’d have knocked it out of the park.
I think I’m fairly honest about how the life I lead and how I come across. My life is fairly busy yet monotonous (I wake up every day, go to work, go to activities, etc), so posts are generally rushed or repetitive.
But I’ve skimmed topics ranging from depression to emptiness to complete bliss. So there’s that.
Sometimes I’m idealistic. Look….I have more faults than I can count on all my fingers and toes. But why would I choose to talk ONLY about those? I think if I’m going to look back on my little piece of the internet, which we all know is written in ink, I’m going to want to remember the happy things, the things that inspire me, the light heartedness.
On the other hand, you can’t just bottle up feelings. Family issues, career dissatisfaction, moments of self non-actualization (it’s a thing) – can’t those be saved for wine nights with your gal pals? I’m hard to get to know as it is (INTJ, peeps), so why would I let everyone in? Since that’s essentially what this is.
And I was telling my friend Shea I have a knack for doing with other people’s problems what I do with my own – saying everything will be ok and oh, this will blow over, and oh, yknow, there’s always a way. But that’s not helpful to others nor to myself, and I want to stop. I want to be someone that people can come to with problems and I’ll help and be there and not gloss over feelings just because it makes everyone uncomfortable. Cause guess what – it’s ok to be uncomfortable. Healthy even.
So I’m trying. I’m trying lots of new things for me this year. I’m trying to not be so judgy wudgy. I’m trying to not be terrified of starting a family (I’m not pregnant). I’m trying to learn to accept myself for who I am instead of the person I think I should be or could or would have been. I could or would have never been that person, because that’s not who I am. And we all still have plenty of potential. It’s never too late. Can you just trust me on that one?