My heart’s heavy posting this. I sat on it a few days, not really knowing what to say or how to make it actually go onto the page. Basically, Nevaeh has lost her battle with leukemia. I think my friend Alejandra – also a TNT participant – said it best: she didn’t even get a chance to live yet. Her mother wrote today, “I don’t see God’s plan. I don’t see any good in this at all.”
It’s not fair.
Saturday was Yom Kippur – the Day of Atonement, and the holiest day for Jews. I kind of struggled with that. I don’t even know if I believe in any sort of God (my thoughts on that could take hours to write), but what kind of God lets something like this happen? If there is a God, she should know that we are not on good terms right now.
And then I really start to get frustrated. I’ve raised approximately $6,675 for LLS in the past 8 months, and it’s my goal to hit $30,000 by the time I turn 30. It would be an understatement to say that it sucks that there’s not a cure. But then I think about drugs like Gleevec and Tasigna, funded by LLS, that help blood cancer patients live better lives. Help them live, period. And I know that the efforts are worth it every time.
My friend Kristen is running the Nike Women’s Marathon next Sunday, and she got us the coolest shirts to wear to cheer her on. I teared up when I read the back of them – it’s so true.
And…well, the front is just pretty cool.
So, in short – I’m feeling torn right now. Not too inspired, but I’m trying. I really, really am.
Please keep Nevaeh’s family in your thoughts – I can’t imagine the pain they’re going through right now. I never want to know that kind of pain.
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
Hugs, lovey. I’m sorry for this, sorry that there’s not a cure, but I’m glad that there are so many out there fighting for a cure, fighting to stop this awful thing.
i am too. i try to stay inspired by that.
oh dear I’m so sad to hear this. I’m so so sorry.
Thank you so much for your dedication to this cause. I firmly believe that one day we will end this.
xoxo
thanks, ameena. i hope so.
That is so tough and sucks so bad. I went through that with a close friend in college. It’s such a helpless, confused, unfair feeling. I’m just throwing it out there. I don’t even know you so it’s not like I’m trying to be pushy, but here’s a book that helped me work through some of that stuff: http://www.amazon.com/Where-When-Hurts-Philip-Yancey/dp/0310245729/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1318516282&sr=8-1. You know, take it or leave it. Not that there are any clean cut answers.
Also, I think what you’re doing to raise money is amazing and inspiring. And that’s a beautiful shirt.
thank you, corrie anne. i appreciate your kindness, comments, and advice – will definitely check out the book (and your blog!).